Made it through the first week unscathed.. and more than a little tired.

One week old today!

Derek's doing good in general. He had a really rough start on breastfeeding. It took 4 nurses and 2 nursing specialists to get him to start and even then he wasn't doing well at it. They all said he would catch on and that there wasn't anything I was doing wrong that was preventing him from nursing, but it still felt for a long time like it had to be something the matter with me. That's probably just my post-partum depression talking though. It's gotten pretty bad. The doctor even put me on Zoloft to try to help just cause I cry all the time these days. Please pray for my emotions to even out. I'm going to start seeing a councilor weekly and take vit D pills to hopefully fix this herbally and mentally so I can get off the anti-depressants as soon as possible. All the doctors and nurses keep telling me that this is completely normal and that most women go through this. My sister who's studying to be a councilor even said that psychologists count women who have been on Zoloft for post-partum as never having been on anti-depressants because it's so common, but still it feels like I'm alone in this. But that's also a pretty normal feeling for a depressed person.

But like I said Derek's doing good. He's getting better with feedings and has started putting weight back on from that initial drop after birth. He's starting to actually have periods of time where he's just awake and looking around and getting to know his surroundings and not only waking up when he's hungry, which is obviously what he did for a while. He has the prettiest eyes ever. I wish they photographed better though.

Tomorrow (day 8 in his life as per God's guidelines) Derek is going in for his circumcision. Please pray for swift healing for the lil guy. I hate knowing that he's gonna be in pain and that in a way I'm the one causing it.

Well, Derek's waking up and it's about time to feed him, so I've got to go.

I know it's not the best view.. but he's a very active lil guy :)

October 23

Ok so for those of you who still read this and will be in town, my Baby Shower is planned for Sunday, Oct 23 after church in my parent's Sunday School room. It's a potluck style lunch. I don't have much more information than that since it's been graciously planned for me by a lady from our church. But I'm sure I can get more info if needed.

Oh oww oww OWW!

Ok so no one warned me that being prego could throw your back out THIS badly. I was in pain for 3 days straight before I could get to a chiropractor. Finally got to go today, and 2 hours after the adjustment I was in pain again. Went back and my back was out again! 2 hours later, my back was starting to hurt again. We changed which chair I was in and now a different section of my back hurts.Seriously???? This sucks... bad.

Something New Every Day

So Derek just threw his first fit. He's been breach this whole time, which means that a 10 inch baby not counting the legs managed to curl himself up in my cervix. Well now he's out grown that particular spot and had to move. Tonight i started feeling what felt like him rolling over like we would when we sleep. Then he rolled back. And again and again. And it got a little higher each time. Then in what I can only describe as a temper tantrum, he began kicking so hard that I could actually see my stomach moving. He's settled down but every now and then I feel him trying to squeeze back in there.

23 weeks

I wanted to be a hard body, not have a hard body...

Ever seen the movie "Hard Bodies"? The term Hard Body refers to a "hot" girl. A girl who has a flat stomach and big breasts. That's what I wanted. I guess I should have been more specific. Because I got a hard body (aka one with a baby inside) instead of being a Hard Body. Cosmic humour, huh? Not that I'm complaining. In many ways Derek is way better than having a hot body, but still it's a little ironic.

What's that saying? If you wanna hear God laugh, just tell him your plans? Cause lately it seems like I've been saying, "Here God, I've written down my plan. Oh, is that a big pink eraser you've got there?" Kinda been feeling like my life is spinning out of control. I know I'm not supposed to be in control, that's God's job, but I'm not the type who likes to feel lost. My parents can attest to that!